Sammy Jalazo
I invited Sammy to meet me at a popular coffee shop besides the art museum on campus. With only 40 minutes before her next class, we couldn’t afford to wait for the busy college students to depart from their coveted tables. Instead, we settled on sitting on the floor in the middle of the gallery, right beneath a painting of an artist I didn’t know. Sammy admitted she was nervous. Having been roommates for two years, I knew virtually everything about her. Yet, the intricacies of her home life was a topic I had yet to broach. Even more, she noted, she was afraid to uncover potentially negative feelings about her home as a result of my probing. That would be great, I thought to myself, but I reassured her that this would be a casual and hopefully eye-opening interview. With that, we began.
Hi Sammy
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Hi Lily
Starting broad: Can you tell me a little bit about where you grew
up? A little bit about your house?
Absolutely. I grew up on the Upper West Side of Manhattan in New York City. I live in an apartment on the 12th floor. My building is on the corner of Broadway and 70th Street. My apartment was a three bedroom. My brothers lived in the same room in bunk beds most of their life. And as they aged, they separated the beds and it was definitely tighter space for them. I always had my own room because I was the girl which was awesome. We had a den, a living room, and a kitchen and my parents room was bigger and had an office in the front. But you could definitely hear pretty much everything that happened in the house. My dog is a loud barker and you could hear like most conversations or at least people’s voices throughout the house. And I loved growing up in an apartment. I didn't know anything different.
Obviously your experience growing up is very different from mine. I had a front lawn, a house with two floors… a lot of space. I know that it's typical of New York to live in an apartment and I was wondering, did any of your other friends have bigger homes? Or lived in townhouses? If so, how did you feel going to those houses versus returning back to your own?
That's a very good question. I think there was a wide range. I went to school in the Bronx so I had a couple of friends, very few, who lived in houses in the surrounding areas like Westchester County or in Riverdale. And those houses were interesting to vistit; it felt like I was visiting a camp friend who lived in a different state. But I didn't feel necessarily jealous. The places where I did feel jealous, and this is more of a commentary on class, were the homes of my friends who just had massive, really well decorated apartments with crazy art. I felt these feelings particularly around my camp friends who lived in the Upper East Side of Manhattan on Park Avenue. I remember not wanting people to come over to my house sometimes. And it was really subtle. It wasn't an overt thing, I never said that to my mom. But I remember going to other people's houses more than my own. And my house is a very nice house. So that's actually something interesting to reflect on. I'd say 80% of my friends had similar apartments to my own, but then there were some apartments, I can pinpoint three, that I was like this is just a different caliber of wealth. And I think in relation to townhouses it kind of felt like a different category. So definitely townhouses were bigger, but I did not feel the urge to compare my own home to them.
It's so interesting to hear that comparison because New York is such a unique city. Real estate is so expensive, even just owning an apartment is a feat. And for me, when I think of comparing houses that I thought were “nicer” it was purely based on the metric of size. So in New York, when space is a limited factor it's the things within the space that make the apartments different. So referencing the embarrassment you mentioned before, how did that feeling affect how you moved throughout your house? Did you ever feel uncomfortable in the space just thinking about your own home compared to others?
In a vacuum, never. I loved my house. It was decorated more in the early 2000s with more wood and more granite and like floral things, if that makes sense. There were pictures of my parents' honeymoon to Africa hung throughout the house. It wasn't like my friends who had famous artists’ giant murals on their walls and things like that. But when no one was over, I didn't notice it. It was only when people were over. And it would not even be bad comments, but someone would be like “I love your couch” and I'd be stare at my couch which was green, soft, floral patterned; it's not modern in any sense of the word. So I was just aware of my “embarrassment” in relation to my friends, but never in relation to just my family.
How do you view the function of your own home versus maybe those more expensive, “nicer” ones that you're thinking of?
I can point to certain things. I had a twin bed and people didn't have twin beds, or the kitchen appliances felt slightly older than other homes. I'm sure the ease of living at those other places was higher because it was slightly nicer. But I never thought about it in relation to function. It's actually a really interesting question. But mainly the twin bed was something that made me self-conscious.
The reason I asked that question (and you can correct me if I am assuming incorrectly) but when I think of modern houses I don’t always equate them with function. They are so pristine and maybe not as lived-in as in the way your green couch was. I think it's interesting if you think of your house when you were younger in this perspective, whereas your couch or your appliances might not have been as new, they were worn-in and they were loved. If you reflect on your house in that way, do you feel like you have a different perspective on it?
Yeah, I do. It's weird because my house has been renovated in the past year and a half. So my new couch (I love the new couch) but it doesn’t mold to my body like my old green couch. But in thinking about my childhood home, I was always so comfortable. I could lie on my floor and feel content. My dog, when he was a puppy, chewed things and those scratches were there for 10 years. So my house did feel really loved. That's a really interesting question. But I think my house now is a little bit more distant because it's more aesthetically pleasing. Our kitchen is now the only place that's not renovated and it still is attached to memories in the way that you’re talking about.
I'm wondering, have you been to any of the other units in your building?
Yes, to babysit at my neighbor's.
Are there similarities between the two? Your house and your neighbors.
This was the weirdest thing, when I babysat it was literally the apartment right beneath mine and they had the exact same floor plan, though they chose to organize it slightly differently. They knocked down one wall. But yeah, it was incredibly similar.
This is a new experience for me to hear about, having not lived in an apartment, but in thinking that someone could have the exact same floor plan, give or take a wall or two, does that make you feel like your experience is any less unique or do you feel your parents have created a home that you can differentiate from the neighbors?
Good question. It was really creepy going into their house. Like, was this an alternate universe of the life that I could have lived? This idea is not something that I’ve had to confront very often. I think [my parents] did a good job of making it their own. I'm sure when you buy a home you feel the need to personalize it a lot. But it was always done for me, so I think it automatically just felt personal.
In terms of personalization, when you think about your parents and how they present themselves, do you think that your house and the decor match their presentation?
That's a crazy question. I think there was a lag, but I think their transition into becoming a “New York City” family has mimicked the way that our house has changed from when I was growing up. Early on, the style of our apartment was consistent with all of my parents' friends. But as people have maybe acquired more money or whatever, changes have been made. My parents were both from the suburbs, Long Island and New Jersey, and now they’ve become very much “New York City.” I think my house is slowly, as they've renovated it through the years, aligned more with the persona that they're trying to express. My parents are also different. My dad is very “I don’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks” in response to his personal style. He would love to live in a suburban house and have a front yard. My mom has forced him to live in New York City. And I think she feels more of a need to keep up with the social expectations of living in an apartment in New York.
There are some things I want to revisit. What was the dynamic between you and your brothers sharing space? Was it difficult? Were they ever upset that they had to share a room and you didn't?
Yeah they were upset. Matthew [middle brother] before I was born was in my room so there'd be jokes about me stealing their space. I don't think it was actually directed at me but they would get annoyed with each other for their lack of space. Things are okay now, though. Alex [oldest brother] has moved to Boston. And Matthew lives at home so it's become his room. They took out one of the beds, they put in a bigger bed, and stuff like isn't there so when Alex comes home, it's a point of contention if he's staying in our house.
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Thinking about your room here in Michigan, are there elements from your room at home that you take from or is it completely different in terms of decor and how you manage your space?
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You would think that coming from New York to Michigan I would have more space. Wrong. I can't move in my room here at Michigan. So like, no, I have more space at home. Really the only thing thats been helpful is I don't keep a lot of things at home (New York) because of space issues and so I'm used to not keeping a lot of thing in Michigan.
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I take it you eventually want to move back to New York? What are some things you envision in your future home?
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Yes, I see myself living in New York. It's hard, I think what's important to me in the city is having some type of outdoor space. It doesn't necessarily need to be mine. But, I always liked that in townhouses people had little patios, or even just being close enough to a park. When I think about settling down in the city, I think that I want to live in Brooklyn. I want a place that is a little bit more spacious in terms of access to outdoors, but I have never thought about that in relation to wanting excess living space. I don't need more, I would just like some fresh air. And, if we're really making requests here, I think I would probably want a bigger bed. So, I guess my future home would only need two things: outdoors and a bed. That's it.
Ethan Kraft
The inspiration behind using interviews for this project stemmed from my desire to hear my brother's perspective on our childhood home. With an eight year age gap, Ethan left for college when I was in the sixth grade. Most of my maturation was spent home alone. At the same time, most of Ethan's experiences in our home went unnoticed by me. Time and circumstances made it so that Ethan and I could very possibly have had entirely unique associations with our home. Meeting in person at a hotel in Florida — we were there for a wedding — I did my best to keep a serious face as I explored his psyche. All the while, Ethan and I giggled as we ignored the watchful eyes of our mother just a few steps away.
Hi Eth, can you tell me a little bit about where you grew up?
I grew up in Beverly Hills, California on a quiet street, in a quiet
neighborhood.
Sounds familiar to me! If you had to pick your favorite room in your house, which would it be?
My favorite room is probably my mom’s bathroom. She has this big limestone shower that gets really warm and steamy; it’s incredibly comforting. Although my favorite place to be is the kitchen, there is something about that shower that I really like.
If you could give your house three adjectives, which would they be?
In three adjectives: Angular, modern, and colorful.
I find it interesting that you used words to describe the building itself and not the emotions your house invokes, is there a reason for that?
I think that my house feels more like a museum sometimes. I think they say that you can have a house or a home. And, I think a lot of time people think of a home as this cozy place, and my house doesn’t feel as cozy because of the way it’s structured and the way it's decorated. So, I used words to describe the aesthetic of the home rather than the “cozyness” of the home.
You'll see in my project, but I would say the same. Going off of that point, would you describe where you grew up as a “home?”
Um, I had a very nice childhood and always had friends over and family, you know it was never a bad place to grow up. But, I think it wasn’t necessarily the way that I like to keep my home, which would be lower lighting and cozier furniture. So in that I would describe it more as a house rather than a home.
Did you feel those same feelings when you were younger? Do you think you were aware of the discomfort you described?
Hm, I think so. We were never the house to have people come over to after school. I wouldn’t say that our house was the house that people loved coming to. I think that the way I like to live is an open door policy and the house we grew up in was kept a bit more quiet.
I want to hear more about the home you envision in your future, but before that, can you tell me a little bit more about your room?
The cool thing about my house was that we were always allowed to paint our room whatever color we wanted, and I had painted my room a few times. I think that was a luxury that not a lot of people get. So, I was obsessed with orange growing up and I wanted an all orange room with orange accessories. Despite the weird color choice, my mom let me do that and she also let me build my own headboard. I remember the excitement I had when I went to the fabric store to pick out all of the materials I wanted to construct that headboard.
It seems like before you described our house as rigid and museum-esque, which are the same words I would use, but you were also given the freedom to customize your own space. What do you think about that?
I think that ultimately design was really important to my mom. Allowing us to express ourselves through design was something that we could bond over and a passion that we were able to share. We used to go to furniture stores all the time together and I think that it was an interesting way for us to bond. I mean she didn’t let us draw on the walls with crayon, but if she knew there was a specific design we really liked, she’d do as much as she could to help us incorporate that into our room.
Would you say that in walking into your house, someone would find a big contrast between your personal room versus the rest of the house?
I wouldn’t think so. Like I said, the house is colorful and even though we were allowed to do what we wanted with our rooms, there were still really interesting and eccentric pieces in there. Like I have this really interesting dresser. I think ordinarily someone would go to “Target” or “Home Goods” to pick out a dresser but my mom went to a unique furniture store and helped me pick a bright orange dresser with a sliding panel and defined ridges. So even though we were allowed to pick what we wanted, it still had to be aesthetically pleasing.
Did that make you feel uncomfortable in your room?
No, I actually didn’t really notice that. And, now being older I appreciate that my mom introduced me to design elements at an early age.
Earlier on, you said that the kitchen would ordinarily be your favorite room in the house. I am wondering why you didn’t say it was your favorite?
I think I like a more rustic kitchen. Our kitchen is very white-– maintaining the modern feel. It is always kept very clean. I like to have my utensils scattered around while I cook and I like to present the spices I am using rather than keeping them behind a cabinet door. I like to make a mess, and while I always clean it up, I'd like my kitchen to be a bit more haphazard. That is more comfortable to me.
You seemed to emphasize the use of white in the house. Do you feel like that aesthetic choice has more meaning?
I think that our house is meant to be kept clean and the white used throughout the house is reflective of its starkness and maybe an element of coldness. The coldness may not be intentional, and it is definitely not what I prefer, but I think the house is meant to be kept like a museum and we are supposed to act like we are in a museum. Everything has to be tidy, well-kept, in its place, which is something I think was important to how we were raised as well. People are always watching and you have to be on your best behavior, because if you look like you’re on your best behavior then people will believe that you’re a good kid.
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With the need to be a "good kid," do you think you felt like you were able to relax in your house?
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Yes and no. Obviously when I was with family I felt the most comfortable and relaxed. Like Friday night dinners around our kitchen table was always something I looked forward to most. But, in thinking about the house itself I wouldn't say its necessarily suited for relaxation. When I think of relaxing I think of fireplaces, low lights, music and our house was pretty opposite from that. I don't know if it's a universal expectation that your home is supposed to be extremely cozy, but it is definitely something that I would want.
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Going off of that, how do you envision your future home?
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I definitely think that light is important in my house. Something I did appreciate about my home is that it had big windows, and I liked the way the light came into my childhood house. But in my own home I think of a lot of greenery outside and inside. I think of soft textures. I think of a lot of pillows and comforting objects like big throws. I think of mixing textures, so like patterns and warm colors, nice browns, beiges, and maroons, overall comforting colors.
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Steering away from white, noted. I'll get you a fake olive tree as a housewarming gift for your future home.
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I look forward to it.
Charlotte Kronfeld
When I met Charlotte my freshman year of college, I quickly learned that she was the hidden string that thread an unlikely amount of my friends together. She went to elementary school in London with my roommate Audrey. She spent her summers at camp in Maine with my future roommate, Melissa. And, her best friends in Los Angeles were girls that I had once gone to middle school with; Mind you, LA is a big city. The list of overlaps spans much longer than the few example I have just given. Point being, Charlotte's nomadic lifestyle has allowed her to come across many different groups of people. For that reason, I knew interviewing her would be the perfect addition to my project.
Hi Charlotte, I obviously chose to interview you because I know you
have a bit of a unique experience. Would you like to tell me about it?
Sure, I have actually lived in five different houses. I have my house in New York which was pretty much my whole childhood. I had one house in London that I lived in for a year and another house in London I had lived in for a couple of years. The second house in London was “my house,” the first one was just temporary. Then, I moved to Los Angeles in high school and we lived in that home for two years. When I graduated high school, we moved to a new home in LA that I would consider my current home.
Wow, a lot of moving around. So I gather you have two houses now? What are they like?
My parent’s identify as bi-coastal. My dad would probably say he lives in Los Angeles and my mom would probably say she lives in New York. Their houses fall on the opposite ends of the spectrum. My LA home is similar to the house you described: modern, glass, a lot of artwork. It is a shoes off at the door type of household. Whereas at my house in New York it’s very evident that kids grew up there. There are stains on the walls, broken items scattered everywhere and it is also a lot older. My mom is pretty into art, she has a very eclectic (?) style I'd say. A lot of flea market art, a lot of pieces that she has found along the way.
My mom is the same way with art, but not with messes. In thinking about all of your houses, which would you say you felt most comfortable in?
I would probably say that the first LA home, like where I went to high school, was the most comfortable for me. I think that it is because it was the most recent, in the sense that I have never fully lived in my new house in LA. So, I think that having had the most relevant and memorable experiences in the first LA home makes me view it as being the most comfortable. I think that when I was younger and I first moved to London, New York felt the most like home for me. But, as I have gotten older I have felt less and less comfortable there.
Why do you think you view New York in that way now?
Honestly, I don’t know. I guess I look at the home in New York as a place that I lived when I was very very young. When I first moved to London my New York home felt like a place I was always going to move back to, so I never really lost comfort. But, now that I don’t fully live there anymore, I have lost that relationship with it.
In terms of your New York house, when you’re there how do you feel? Does it represent anything from childhood for you?
I feel pretty uncomfortable there. It is shocking to me that I lived there for so long; I lived in that house until I was 10 or 12. It just doesn’t feel homey anymore. I think that because I was too young to have memories when I lived there, I just can’t picture it as being a place of importance for me. It feels like a vacation home, not a “living” home. My parents also redid the home, so it doesn’t look the same at all anymore. I also think that my parent’s lifestyles are very different, and I align significantly more with my dad.
Can you tell me more about that?
My mom’s house [New York] has so much junk food at all times. The fridge is filled to the brim with foods that people will never eat. There is just always so much going on in that house that I almost don’t feel relevant? Or at least is not relevant to me. Whereas at my dads house [Los Angeles] is much more minimalist and everything there feels like it matters to me in a way. The food there is food I eat, it’s very “Erewhon-esque” plant-based food. My dad and I eat very similarly so the home feels much more tailored to me. Whereas my mom’s house is so overwhelming and just gross. These feelings are also reflective of my relationships with my parents; I am a lot closer with my dad.
*she catches me smiling*
Is that what you wanted to hear?
I think it’s really interesting that both sides represent different versions of you. Would you say that as a kid, and for instance having a pantry like that, would be something you would have been excited about? I can’t help but think of the “junk food house” of my friend group and I knew I always wanted to go over there.
I definitely was the “junk food house” but I don’t think I realized it at the time. It’s also complicated because my parents lived full-time together when I was younger whereas now they spend most of their time apart. So it was different then because it was a blend of both my mom and my dad (the healthy and the unhealthy). Like we had Cheez-Its, but the Whole Foods version.
It’s hard because you haven’t had one consistent home since childhood, but when you think about your room, what does that space look like? Was it an escape? Or was it a place you didn’t often spend time in?
So my and phoebe [younger sister] shared a room in New York and I honestly think that that was a rite of passage for childhood.
– You liked sharing a room?
I probably hated it at the time, but looking back on it I'm such a better sharer – I can really live with anyone now because of it because it was such a formative experience. So, everything following sharing a room feels like a luxury so I am much more appreciative of things.
When you envision your future home, what would you pull (if anything) from your previous homes?
I definitely would say that I fall in between my parents in terms of style. I really like my mom’s style for art, but I also despise messes and in my college apartment I keep things incredibly clean. I hate hoarding. I hate having a lot of things.
Do you think the need for cleanliness comes from sharing a room and needing to be mindful of someone else's space?
Yeah, and home never feels permanent to me. I never feel like I'm going to stay in a place for too long. So, I don’t want to collect a bunch of stuff that I will have to eventually pack up and move around. That was a really big thing in our childhood; nothing ever really felt permanent. Yes we kept a few of our favorite things when we were younger, but everything else always got thrown out. And, I am the same way now. I never want extra weight around.
The need to condense your belongings is such a unique part of moving around that I hadn't really thought about. To end this interview i'd like to return to thinking about your future home. Is it a place you want to be permanent? Or do you want to be moving around?
That’s a good question. I see travel as being an integral part of my future life. But, I don’t necessarily know if that means not having a home base. I think it will depend on what I am doing in my life. I really only know what it’s like to not have a permanent home. There are pros and cons to both sides. I definitely want my kids to have an experience living abroad, but I also get very frustrated when people around me talk about their hometowns. I don’t feel like I belong to a specific place, not a town and especially not a home. I think the biggest thing is that I don’t feel like people can relate to my experience and that is a different feeling than longing for a permanent home. It is isolating in a unique sense. But it’s not a bad thing, it’s just different.
Andrea Holber
Andrea and I were both raised in Jewish households. While many of my friends are also Jewish, Andrea and I are the two that would be considered "most religious." The practices that we grew up with made it so that our home lives were relatively similar. We both stayed home every Friday night in observance of Shabbat, both lived in a Kosher home, and both experienced the vigilant love of a Jewish mother. Yet, being roommates now, I have come to realize that the way Andrea and I move about our own spaces is drastically different. We carried out the interview on her bed, one that I have made for her many times before, and I prepared to learn about where our differences stemmed from.
Hi Andrea
Hi Lily
So, you are someone that I've been wanting to interview mainly because I've lived with you for the past three years and I feel like I've gotten good insight into the way you move about your space. Mostly, I was curious about the origins of your habits that I have observed. So, tell me about where you grew up.
I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The neighborhood I grew up in was Squirrel Hill, which is, I think, a unique neighborhood in the city, but definitely has a strong sense of community. My area had a lot of large sidewalks; I'd walk and meet up with my friends and that was a big part of growing up there. And, being in close proximity to everything was a huge part of it. I was like two minutes from my high school and two minutes from my elementary school and middle school. You knew a lot of people around the area, for example you knew all your neighbors and they knew you.
How would you describe Squirrel Hill from a bird's eye view? Do most houses look similar? Would you classify it as uniformly suburban or do the houses vary?
Um, I think to some extent, it has a suburban feel, I have a big backyard. But I think the houses are all very different. All of my neighbors have very different layouts. I live on a street that happens to have bigger lots and bigger houses that are wide. I think a lot of the houses are really historic, like my house is like 100 years old or older. And that's definitely something that's common. I think.
Do you ever stop to think about the history of your house? Has your family always owned this house or did you purchase it off of another family?
We bought it from another family. I wasn't born yet. But my family knows the family that we bought the house from and they sometimes will stop-by to come and look at the house again, which is nice. We actually have art from the woman that we bought the house from and we have it hanging in our house in honor of her. I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about the history of my house but now that you bring it up it's definitely an interesting aspect of my home.
Hearing that the woman who used to live in your house comes to visit makes it seem like your neighborhood is very communal and that your house seems open to others. Do you think that is an accurate assessment?
Yes and no. I think growing up, that was absolutely the case. My house was the fun place to have playdates because we had a huge backyard and a massive swing set. So it was always fun for people to come over. Our attic was filled with a bunch of toys and we would spend hours up there. So in that sense I would consider it “open,” but at the same time I think as I was growing up, it shifted. Because my home was such a communal space, with everyone always sitting in the kitchen together or in the family room together, it became a place that I no longer wanted to have friends in. I felt like I could hear my sisters’ or parent’s voices from every room in the house and I didn’t want to think about that while I had friends over.
It’s interesting to hear how your thoughts on your home have changed. Do you feel that, now in college, you look forward to going home for breaks?
Yes and no again. I like certain aspects of it. I love my room, but I also feel kind of confined in my room. I spent a lot of time in my room in high school and I think that turned my association with it into a negative thing. Having spent too much time in my room evokes negative memories from that point of my life.
Do you think that you went into your room a lot in high school because you felt it was the only space where you could be alone?
Yeah, absolutely. The entire first floor of my house is essentially open; there's not a lot of doors and each room is only separated by arches. So, you can really hear everything. Especially things like my mom cooking or being on the phone. I hated overhearing her phone calls! But, our main floor is often noisy and chaotic.
Excuse my interruption, let’s go back to your thoughts on returning home for breaks.
Going home can evoke negative memories sometimes, but also positive ones. I think one thing that I really like going home is like the mealtime and I like going into our kitchen now and like being with my family. In that sense, because we'll have really nice meals where my mom prepares a lot and everyone's together, which is infrequent, especially being the youngest sibling. And now I've kind of honestly like, created new territory in different sections of the house. Like I said, the first floor is very open, but the living room is one of the rooms that I really didn't spend time in before leaving for college and now I spend a lot of time there because of its many windows and natural light.
You mentioned having older siblings, where is your room in relation to theirs?
For lack of better words my house is very long and not tall. So, our bedrooms were spread out along a long corridor. My room was on one end, near my parent’s office, and my sisters’ rooms were next to each other on the other side.
Do you think that spacing ever had an affect on the dynamics with your siblings?
Maybe to some extent, I think part of the reason I have the room that I do is because I'm the youngest child. Julia, my oldest sister, has the biggest room and it's really nice. There's a lot of space and massive windows with a cozy window seat. Jesse, my middle sister, has the next biggest room and then mine is definitely the smallest room. I think my mom always felt kind of guilty that I had this, like, “lesser room” in comparison to my sisters. So that probably explains the major of the dynamic. But, when I was younger, my middle sister would try to impress my older sister and always try to get her to come to her room. So, when I was younger I definitely felt the distance not only in age but also due to the actual location of my room.
I would like to say that the rooming situation is a universal youngest sibling phenomena but, when I was born, my middle brother got kicked out of the bigger room so that I could have my own bathroom.
Lucky you.
I was wondering if you could talk a little bit more about just being a kid in your house. You touched on it a little bit before when talking about having playdates. How do you think you would’ve described your house as a kid?
I thought my home was massive and I thought it was so cool. I don't even remember this, but looking back on home videos, the living room that I talked about before with all the windows used to have no furniture in it. Now, It's “fancier” because my mom furnished it so it's very professional looking. But looking back on home videos, there were like a million toys everywhere. We had a frickin bouncy house that we would blow up and put in that room!. So it was a very open space and a space where there were a lot of possibilities. We'd build forts with the couch cushions and spend hours pretending to be different characters. I like thinking about my house through the lens of childhood because it was just a creative place with a lot of opportunities.
Admittedly I'm jealous, that sounds incredibly playful. How do you think that experience plays into the way you move around spaces now? In your college homes, for instance.
I guess I would say that I'm somewhat carefree about how I inhibit spaces. I am pretty messy. But I think that somewhat comes from my childhood and being able to play around. I think my messiness also comes from my mom being pretty messy. Like, piles of paper and bills on the stairs or table weren’t that big of a deal. I also think that my playfulness as a child affects how I design spaces. I have a very chaotic type of “design process.” I always put a bunch of posters up on the wall and my lamp is covered in stickers right now. And, my bookshelves are just filled with a million little things. I wouldn’t say that my college room looks put together per say, but it all works beautifully in my head. On my desk right now is a dirtied newspaper that I leave there 24/7 so that I can do my art on it. Sure, I could put it away when I’m not painting or drawing. But, I think going back to the playfulness aspect and the opportunities I felt were open to me as a kid, having that newspaper on my desk always gives me the chance to tap into my creative side.
Do you think that if your mom wasn’t messy (your words not mine) the way you moved around your home would have been different?
Totally. I think that my mom needed to be the way she was in order for us to have a room full of toys and the floor constantly covered in barbies or crayons. If she had been someone who was very uptight about stuff like that, then obviously that wouldn't be possible and it would be much more of a stricter household.
It's interesting because I feel like messiness is often associated with something negative, but it seems that in your case, it gave you the freedom to enjoy your childhood in a way that may not have been possible otherwise. As a self proclaimed messy person yourself, do you think you're upholding that habit because you want to have the freedom to mess things up?
To some extent I just don't value neatness; being organized isn’t satisfying for me. It's not like “oh my God, I need it to be clean.” I frequently save random pieces of cardboard or stuff like that because I hope that I will use it in my art. I'm always thinking of the random things that are all over my desk or my dresser as opportunities for another time. My mom is the same way, she likes to keep things just in case. I think being messy allows for a sort of naive, but optimistic, kind of mindset. It’s thinking that if you have all of these things saved, you’ll be able to do a bunch of different things, even if you don’t end up following through with them.
I have a new appreciation for the cardboard stashed in the corner now. You shed a lot of light on your past but when you think about the future and the type of home you want to have, what are some things that you think of?
I definitely would like to have a lot of places to play. I think that's what I value most. I also picture a big kitchen table and having the kitchen be the focal point. Because again, while the communal aspect of my house did have negative impacts on me later in high school, for the most part, the kitchen was where my family hung out together. We would draw, talk, eat, and share a lot of laughs at our kitchen table. I also envision a big bookcase that could hold things other than books; maybe all my extra cardboard I'll find as an adult. Mainly, I would like to have the freedom to be creative in my home, so any space that allows for that will lead to me being happy.